We received word earlier this week that Skatutakee, the broad-winged hawk who spends her summers raining terror on our helplessly exposed Head of School, has begun her migration back north!

The US military spends our tax dollars on advanced missile guidance systems; Mr. Bates's ops, as the kids would say, have a more surefire, cost-effect, and conservationally-minded strategy... sic a hawk on him. 

Last summer, Skatutakee mistook Mr. Bates for a small mammal. He is, in fact, a big mammal.

Even so, the former NCAA Division I athlete is no match for the bird. Skatutakee landed successful strike upon successful strike upon the poor man, a devastating psychological victory over Mr. Bates, the toll of which is writ across his face. He is unlikely to recover. There are probable epigenetic effects that, though I don't think he's planning to have more children, would more likely than not cause some intergenerational fear of birds. 

Last we heard, Skatutakee was pinged in Alabama. Yourstruly has been deputized to travel down that way and run interference on the bird (true story), lest we risk a scene at Graduation.